Thursday, November 29, 2012

The Lunar Pack (2004)

Pack: Tomb of Terrors
Disc: 8

Subgenre(s): Werewolves

Year: 2004

Rated: R
Length: 56 minutes

Director: Jason Liquori
Writer: Jason Liquori
Starring: Debbie Rochon, Chanel Bagwell, Melissa Morse

Synopsis: Let Mistress Misty (Debbie Rochon) guide you through three tales of the full moon as she follows the stories of different werewolves and how they handle their curse, gift or simple way of life.


Review: As you can tell from the synopsis, The Lunar Pack is a werewolf anthology movie or rather three low-budget shorts with a wraparound introduction provided by Debbie Rochon. None of the stories are all that special and Debbie Rochon is hardly Elvira.

The first segment, Dark Rose: The 700 Year Itch, is more of a trailer for a longer project than a real movie, short or otherwise. Basically, it's just a quick fight scene between a vampiress and a vampire-hunting female werewolf. There's nothing exciting here, and the choreography of the fight scene kind of sucks.

The second segment, Sheep's Clothing, is slightly longer than Debbie Rochon's lame introduction to it but not by much. It's the story of a private eye who finds out that his client's wife is a werewolf rather than a cheat. Again, it's not very interesting, and the twist, if you can call it that, is predictable. To make matters worse it's all shot in faux black and white (i.e. desaturated after the fact) and looks awful.

Finally, following another unfunny skit by Debbie Rochon, Crying Wolf is a standard werewolf story with a twist at the end somewhat like Silver Bullet. There's surprisingly good lighting during the night scenes, and the whole production feels more professional, but the fight at the end between the two leads in masks and furry werewolf gloves is ridiculous.

If it wasn't for Debbie Rochon camping things up as a horror hostess, The Lunar Pack would just be three YouTube videos. Having said that, "Mistress Misty" isn't funny or appealing enough to make any of this entertaining either.

Most Memorable Moment(s): Debbie Rochon chasing a fake rat.

Originality: None.

Best Line(s): "Werewolfism is viral; It's Darwinism at its best."
Worst Line(s): "Brains make good fish food."

Best Effect(s): The claw marks on Billy Joe's chest.
Worst Effect(s): The strawberry jelly brain.

Goriness (out of 10): 1
Sexiness (out of 10): 1
Profanities (out of 10): 1

Hottest Actor/Actress: Debbie Rochon as Mistress Misty.

Picture Quality: Average (2 different ratios used)
Audio Quality: Average

Rating (out of 10): 1


IMDb or Wiki:

Final Thoughts: Debbie Rochon has more time on screen than the short movies she presents.

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