Purvos (2004)

Pack: Tomb of Terrors
Disc: 3

Subgenre: Serial Killer

Year: 2004 (IMDb says 2006)

Rated: Unrated
Length: 75 minutes

Director: Jerry Williams
Writer: Jerry Williams
Starring: Stephani Heise, David Workman, Nathan Day

Synopsis: A researcher investigating sleep disorders discovers a terrifying connection that one of her patients has with a murderous clown called Purvos.

Screencaps:

Not the most typical security guard's uniform.

"Why do you have a lamp in your cupboard?"

Clearly, she does not have hairy palms.

Yucko called. He wants his costume back.

Review: Despite having one of the plainest casts to ever appear in a movie, Purvos isn't a bad little thriller. Unfortunately, it gives away the identity of the killer half-way through and then forgets the intriguing premise of a psychic link which was established at the beginning.

David Workman does a decent job as the nutty Max, but the rest of the actors just aren't in the same league. Veteran Plan 9 from Outer Space actor Conrad Brooks turns up near the beginning and right at the end in a cameo that shows he still can't act after a whole lifetime of not even trying.

There are a couple of pretty girls in this although the hottest one is in the first scene. The others are a mixed bag which don't pass close scrutiny. Nobody is perfect and I really don't want to be mean, but this is probably the only movie where a lesbian love scene has made me feel physically ill. I'm not talking about the nudie dream sequence one with all the blood either. If very ordinary-looking people are silly enough to get involved in a movie like this without decent make-up or lighting available then they just have to reap what they've sown.

Surprisingly, I didn't find anyone's looks too distracting and could see the effort that was being put in to actually act, but I watch movies as escapism and fantasy. I don't need to see normal people, warts and all, unless I go to Wal-mart where I too live in mortal fear of ever becoming an internet meme.

As with most low-budget movies, the gory bits are hit or miss. The opening scene is the best of a bad lot yet it reeks of Halloween (1978). The poster of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) on the wall is a misplaced homage since the killer's POV shots through the eyeholes in his mask are very Michael Myers.

The clown make-up used by the real "Purvos" is better than the rubber mask, but I can understand the time restraints that prompted the decision to use the latter. It would have added a few minutes and given a lot more depth to the killer's character if there had been a scene of him insanely putting his outfit and make-up on in preparation for his next kill, but what do I know? I just watch films, I don't make them.

Most Memorable Moment(s): Stacy Jaros (Stephani Heise) dropping an obviously fake pistol down the stairs with a plastic clatter.

Originality: Not much. A killer who dresses up as a clown? John Wayne Gacy. Killing prostitutes? Jack the Ripper. Psychic link? Dracula.

Best Line(s): "I'm not a whore, Raven, I'm an escort."
Worst Line(s): "There's no peace here... only blood."

Best Effect(s): The gory dream sequence at the end.
Worst Effect(s): The stabbings.

Goriness (out of 10): 3
Sexiness (out of 10): 3
Profanities (out of 10): 1

Hottest Actor/Actress: Leslie Lance (the escort).

She couldn't call 911 because the phone had no "11" on it.

Picture Quality: Average
Audio Quality: Average

Rating (out of 10): 2

Trailer:


IMDb or Wiki: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0940870/

Final Thoughts: Dat hair! Dem teeth! Dat mole!