Monday, November 5, 2012

The Cutting Room (2005)

Pack: Tomb of Terrors
Disc: 2

Subgenre(s): Comedy, Spoof, Slasher

Year: 2005

Rated: R
Length: 80 minutes

Director: Krist Rufty
Writers: Krist Rufty, Steve Beaver
Starring: Lyla Sullivin, Noelle D'Amato, Shaun O'Rourke

Synopsis: A director of a low budget movie decides to kill her fellow cast and crew members as they have used her art to become rich and famous.


"It's up to us to produce better-quality movies."

Not a lesbian... but her girlfriend is.

Didn't get a free cinema ticket or DVD screener. Hates the movie.

Ermagerd zermbers!

Review: If you've ever read a certain review on eBay about the Pendulum Pictures DVDs looking like cheap porn, The Cutting Room is probably the inspiration for it. I kid you not, this is the closest thing to porn on disc 2 of the "Tomb of Terrors" pack.

It's not just how Jyllyan Dixon simulates masturbation while fantasising about winning an Oscar that makes this utter filth, but there are a couple of other risqué scenes later on including Chace Ambrose's character, David, talking about his wish to become a porn star. Don't get me wrong, I'm no prude at all, but I was expecting a horror movie of some kind rather than softcore titillation.

The Cutting Room is, of course, a self-referential "meta" slasher which makes as much fun of itself as it does the horror genre in general. In Lloyd Kaufman's cameo at the start, his character tries to knock Hollywood movies but ends up highlighting most of the flaws with indie horror instead.

It's funny that all the arguments for these low-budget nasties are actually used against them. Even movie reviewers who overpraise these things get lampooned on the spoof "Burton Ernie" (Bert and Ernie, geddit?) TV show later on.

I'm not going to go into any great detail because, aside from all of the in-jokes, The Cutting Room is nothing more than an ultra cheap and badly filmed slasher. Even the special effects are only "special" in a purely derogatory way.

This movie is so bad that it makes a Troma movie look good in comparison. There are indeed many references to Troma throughout (and Lloyd Kaufman's Make Your Own Damn Movie! book is shown twice) which is no great surprise considering that some of the cast worked for Troma before.

The girls in this are pretty, which is always a bonus, and a couple of the guys aren't too bad really either. I'm tempted to say that they might even be able to act a bit, but I wish they'd bothered to do it here. Nobody really stands out in a good way, not even Lyla Sullivin (Sullivan on the IMDb) who plays the lead role as the killer with the amusing name of Angel Corman.

While The Cutting Room tries unsuccessfully to convey the same message as one of the Wes Craven's Scream series, it's just a horribly made, no-budget knock-off with barely any entertainment value of its own.

Most Memorable Moment(s): Liz (Jyllyan Dixon) playing with herself while dreaming of winning an Oscar.

Originality: None

Best Line(s): "I came to get my beer. I didn't know people were going to be crying in it."
Worst Line(s): "My body's tingling all over, and it's not supposed to do that!"

Best Effect(s): Ethan (Langley McArol) getting his meat and two veg cut off.
Worst Effect(s): The pizza guy's decapitated head.

Goriness (out of 10): 3
Sexiness (out of 10): 6
Profanities (out of 10): 4

Hottest Actor/Actress: Vanelle who plays Carrie.

Hotter than two squirrels in a wool sock.

Picture Quality: Poor, grainy (4:3 ratio)
Audio Quality: Poor, loud hissing

Rating (out of 10): 2


IMDb or Wiki:

Final Thoughts: Even Scream did it better.

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