Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Death From Beyond (2005)

Pack: Tomb of Terrors
Disc: 2

Subgenre(s): Slasher, Egyptian Curse, Short

Year: 2005 (IMDb says 2006)

Rated: Unrated
Length: 37 minutes (58 minutes according to DVD sleeve)

Director: James Panetta
Writer: James Panetta
Starring: Trisha Hershnerger, Sarah Muhl, James Panetta

Synopsis: An Egyptian demon kills amateur porn actors.


Tried to tidy attic before friends showed up. Failed miserably.

These special effects are amazing!

Books are like mind movies.

Xena looks so different now.

Review: I had to watch Death From Beyond twice because I couldn't believe how awful it was. James Panetta seems like a nice enough guy (I've never met him), but I can't even get my head around why anyone would make something like this in the first place. I'm slightly horrified that there's a sequel available which I know I'll end up watching one day too.

As much as I would like to say something positive about Death From Beyond, I can't. Instead, here's the one review from the IMDb (written by Zbigniew_Krycsiwiki) which says it all much better than I ever could:
A two person filming crew meets at their fleabag apartment with a few people to film an amateur porn video and find some sort of joke shop amulet which accidentally resurrects "Nefratis": a cute demon creature from the past who goes about killing them one by one, feeding off of their energies released during sex. The majority of this 37 minute movie (which seems to be about two hours long) was filmed in someone's apartment, and in the climax it moves to an open field, where sexy little Trisha and the film's heroine battle it out using swords made out of aluminum foil and cardboard. In a puzzling and anti climactic ending, Nefratis is finally defeated when the heroine grabs her amulet and throws it into a lake. Well, actually the "lake" is just a piece of thick blue plastic being held in front of the camera to simulate a lake. Was the budget so low that they couldn't afford to drive to a real lake, what with rising gas prices in the US? Along the way there are obvious references to other, better horror movies- an autographed, framed photo of Jason Voorhees(?!) is the most blatant and implausible of the lot. After the movie is over, the DVD is padded with 20 minutes of rehearsal footage, bloopers, and outtakes- which look exactly the same as the footage included in the finished movie. This mini movie (directed by, written by, starring, produced by, effects by, photographed by, sound by, make up by, and stunts by James Panetta!) would be laughable if it weren't so boring. Of course, that might make some people consider this one "so bad, it's good" though.
The amount of time that must have gone into the crappy computer effects and the cosplay costumes was obviously more than was spent working on a decent script or learning even the most basic filmmaking techniques. If the $1000 budget was spent on anything other than takeaway food for the cast then it was wasted.

Most of the girls in Death From Beyond are very pretty, but none of them are kind enough to get nude. One of them even takes a shower with her clothes on! What the Hell? If you can't act then at least show your boobs!

I'm sure everyone had a lot of fun making this movie, but I got absolutely no enjoyment out of watching it.

Most Memorable Moment(s): How typically untidy the house was that it was filmed in.

Originality: None.

Best Line(s): "These are the voyages of the Starship Suckadick."
Worst Line(s): "Thanks for sharing."

Best Effect(s): Blood trickling out of Juan Fernandez's mouth.
Worst Effect(s): All the computer generated stuff.

Goriness (out of 10): 1
Sexiness (out of 10): 1
Profanities (out of 10): 2

Hottest Actor/Actress: Suzi Lorraine as "Palace Guard #2".

She's hotter than fire!

Picture Quality: Average (4:3 ratio)
Audio Quality: Average

Rating (out of 10): 1


IMDb or Wiki: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0853097/

Final Thoughts: Why does this even exist?

1 comment:

  1. She takes a shower with her clothes on? Man... I just might have to watch this now.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...