Saturday, December 8, 2012

The Slasher (2000)

Pack: Tomb of Terrors
Disc: 10

Subgenre(s): Crime, Serial Killer

Year: 2000

Rated: Unrated
Length: 92 minutes

Director: Jim Haggerty
Writer: Jim Haggerty
Starring: Jae Mosc, Nicole Mirabella, Jim Haggerty

Synopsis: New York is under the gripping threat of a masked madman killing beautiful women with no end in sight. As bloody, naked bodies are turning up everywhere, 'The Slasher' holds the city in his tightened grip. Two hard-boiled cops who've seen it all remain hot on the trail of the maniac, but the meddling of the press and the evil genius of their prey keeps them one step behind.


Review: If you've ever watched a movie wishing that the actresses would take off all their clothes, The Slasher is the movie for you. Unfortunately, in most cases here, you'll wish that they would put them back on again. There are more than just boobs on display, and you don't have to even look that carefully to see as much as you would in a cheap porno.

Between the gratuitous nudity, there's a fairly standard cop story with the worst line delivery possible. The chief of police (Allen Rockefeller) is the worst culprit, but the director of the movie, Jim Haggerty, comes a pretty close runner-up as Detective Keith Stone. You would think that the person who wrote the lines of dialogue would be able to say them. You would think, but you'd be wrong.

Jae Mosc, as Detective Larry Brown, does slightly better until any of the scenes he shares with Nicolle Mirabella who plays his love interest, Lara Carruthers. There's no chemistry whatsoever because, basically, they can't act. One scene where they are about to kiss is so poorly written that it's far more comical than the other awkwardness that's intended.

Forget any realistic police procedures too because it's obvious that no research was put into how cops really behave. I don't think even one doughnut gets munched in the whole hour and a half, but that's as close as it gets. Attempts at humour between the cops falls completely flat although the ludicrousness of how they put themselves in danger almost makes up for it.

The kill scenes in this crime drama are too poorly done to be satisfying or unintentionally amusing. The first victim (Kirsten Walters) runs from the safety of the road into the woods because hiding behind a tree will clearly work so much better. Oh God, people are stupid in this film. The second victim (Michelle Starr), after escaping from the stranger chasing her right up to her apartment doesn't call the police but decides to have a bath instead! When she opens the door to whoever is knocking without checking who it is, she deserves what she gets. I could go on, but you get the idea.

There isn't much in the way of gore. The killer's weapons don't look as if they are connecting with the victims, there are no clever make-up effects for wounds, and fake blood is just squirted all over the still breathing "corpses" to make up for it. In the world of bad movies, there's low-budget and then there's The Slasher which seems to have spent every penny on a cheap plastic Hallowe'en mask and not much else. Watching for the microphone to accidentally appear is more rewarding than anything else.

Apart from Norman Pasternak doing a fairly decent job as the psychopathic serial killer Max Donnegan, The Slasher is little more than an excuse for three homely non-actresses to get naked between trips to their local tattoo and piercing parlour.

If you make it to the end, there's an unexpected "twist" which doesn't follow the usual formulas. It's similar to something which has been done before in westerns, but it's original for this kind of movie.

Most Memorable Moment(s): Stones's wife (Charlotte Bair) apparently spends her whole life topless and in bed.

Originality: None.

Best Line(s): "It's a lot harder to hit a target than to shoot blindly into a crowd."
Worst Line(s): "You know we have to rip his lungs out, right?"

Best Effect(s): The blood.
Worst Effect(s): The slasher's knife stays clean of blood because it doesn't connect with the victims' bodies at any time.

Goriness (out of 10): 2
Sexiness (out of 10): 4
Profanities (out of 10): 3

Hottest Actor/Actress: Spike as Mayra Carruthers.

Picture Quality: Below average.
Audio Quality: Slightly below average

Rating (out of 10): 2


IMDb or Wiki:

Final Thoughts: Nipple rings must have been popular in 2000.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...