Friday, November 30, 2012

Nightmare Museum (2006)

Pack: Tomb of Terrors
Disc: 8

Subgenre(s): Sci-fi, Comedy, Puppets

Year: 2006

Rated: R
Length: 65 minutes

Director: Igor Pickles
Writer: Igor Pickles
Starring: Hamilton Steele

Synopsis: Commander X and his part time employee, Nightmare, plan on breaking into the Madison Museum to steal a secret tree of power: "The Bagel Tree". With the tree in Commander X's possession, he plans on using it as the ultimate tool of destruction: "The Element". Ironically, a few thieves beat Commander X to it, and now it's up to The Erotic Avengers to stop them.


Review: Nightmare Museum isn't a real movie, it's just someone's idea of a stupid joke which isn't funny or entertaining.

What you have here is an hour of someone banging Barbie dolls and G.I. Joes together as if they are fighting or having sex with each other with accompanying grunts, groans and moans.

There's no real story other than what's shown on the opening title card except that some kind of robot with a watering can for a head kills all the dolls after they've had sex and steals "The Bagel Tree" from them.

This has no place in a horror movie pack or anywhere else for that matter. Any five-year-old has more imagination and could do better.

Most Memorable Moment(s): Barbie and G.I. Joe doing the nasty.

Originality: None.

Best Line(s): "Ugh... Ugh... Ugh..."
Worst Line(s): "Ugh... Ugh... Ugh..."

Best Effect(s): None of them.
Worst Effect(s): All of them.

Goriness (out of 10): 1
Sexiness (out of 10): 1
Profanities (out of 10): 5

Hottest Actor/Actress: Barbie

Picture Quality: Average
Audio Quality: Below average with hiss.

Rating (out of 10): 0

Trailer: None
IMDb or Wiki:

Final Thoughts: Barbie dolls getting it on for an hour? O out of 10.

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