Pack: Tomb of Terrors
Subgenre(s): Comedy, Vampires
Year: 2003 (IMDb says 2004)
Length: 80 minutes
Director: Tiffany Kilbourne
Writers: Keith Knapp, Kyle Kline, David C. Hayes
Starring: Lia Montelongo, Martin Shannon, Melissa Mountfield
Synopsis: Five sexy college friends venture out on a road trip. A detour to Lisa's Uncle Marty's house leads them into the Galloway Forest which is known for mysterious disappearances and rumours of cannibalism. Uncle Marty does not appear to be home so Lisa finds a hidden key, which unlocks the door to a night full of terror. As Lisa experiences bizarre visions, she wonders about her darkest family secrets. The mysterious Uncle Marty has a taste for beauty and blood. Nothing is as it seems as the friends become engulfed in his twisted world. As the night of fear and seduction continues, friends become enemies; Evil reigns in the Darkness!
Review: If you only watch the first few minutes of Shower of Blood, you'll be forgiven for thinking that at least two of the actors may be "educationally challenged" in real life. At the very beginning, they deliver their lines like five year olds who have only just learnt the alphabet and are then forced to read aloud to class. There's no chemistry between anyone, nobody reacts to what the previous person has said without a discernible delay, and the sleeve that the DVD comes in has more of an emotional range. It's no great surprise that none of them have ever been in anything else. But give Shower of Blood a chance and you might get some enjoyment out of it especially if you like vampires, boobs and blood.
The overlaid burping and farting noises, and so many lame jokes that just aren't funny, really do a lot of damage to the start of the movie. There's more amusement to be had from the continuity errors with Lisa's vest than anything anyone says. Shower of Blood is also another one of those movies which can't decide which genre it wants to belong to. What begins as a "teen" sex-comedy eventually turns into a real vampire movie featuring a great performance by Martin Shannon as creepy Uncle Marty, but it's still possible to write the whole thing off because of all the innuendos and gratuitous nudity, not that there's anything wrong with the latter.
Technically, there are a lot of flaws. Sound effects are way too loud and the background music occasionally obscures the dialogue. There's also some cheap and dated CGI which is overambitious for the one sequence that looks like a cut scene from a computer game but is used well for the vampire transformations. It's still not up to the same quality as Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but it's acceptable for a low-budget movie. The fangs look good anyway.
The camerawork is mostly competent although some of the framing could be better. At least it's not all shaky. Owing to the budget, there's no atmosphere, and everything is far too dark, but the ultra modern house that it's filmed in looks nice. Interior designers should appreciate Shower of Blood because there are lots of nicely decorated rooms and, apparently, four showers even though only two are used. If you are also into carpentry, there are, unfortunately, more wooden performances here than an IKEA kitchen.
The second half of the movie, while lapsing into bouts of mostly unerotic nakedness, does try to deliver a decent but generic vampire story except that there's not really a lot of gore or horror to go with it. There's certainly some blood but even that is sparser than the title suggests. Most of it comes out of a carved joint of meat on the dining table which maybe isn't supposed to be as appetising as it looks.
Having already mentioned that Uncle Marty steals the show, Lia Montelongo and Melissa Mountfield as Lisa and Heather respectively, improve towards the end of the movie with some great expressions and enough screaming to earn their places among the better B movie actresses. It's all a bit too late to compensate for the beginning, but it becomes obvious that the blame really lies with whichever one of the three writers wrote such poor dialogue rather than with the actors themselves.
It's funny how your taste can change over the years. I actually watched Shower of Blood when it was released on video and loathed it completely, but it's grown on me a little bit since. The silliness is rather endearing rather than grating, and, of course, it's always possible to appreciate a good looking cast who have no problem with getting naked.
Most Memorable Moment(s): Melissa Mountfield's shower.
Best Line(s): "These are the only melons you are going to get your hands on tonight if you keep it up."
Worst Line(s): "Lead the way, foxy Roxy."
Best Effect(s): The fangs.
Worst Effect(s): Any of the CGI.
Goriness (out of 10): 2
Sexiness (out of 10): 5
Profanities (out of 10): 4
Hottest Actor/Actress: Lia Montelongo as Lisa.
Picture Quality: Below average (very dark)
Audio Quality: Slightly below average
Rating (out of 10): 3
IMDb or Wiki: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0213248/
Final Thoughts: Boobs and blood!