Disk Jockey (2005)

Pack: Tomb of Terrors
Disc: 1

Subgenre(s): Crime, Comedy(?), Not Horror

Year: 2005
Rated: R
Length: 58 minutes

Director: Zachary Yoshioka
Writer: Adam (?)
Starring: Kristin Busk, Josh Fallon, Devyan DuMon

Synopsis: Hitmen try to recover a computer disk which has been surgically hidden inside the sister of their former partner-in-crime. A rival female gang is after the same thing.

Screencaps:

"Bowties are cool."

"I promise you that one day I will own a chair with arms."

"Cool story, bro."

"I'll pop a Glock in your mouth and make a brain slushie!"

Review: Not a promising start to the "Tomb of Terrors" pack since Disk Jockey isn't even a horror movie. It's a slightly comedic crime story filmed around Phoenix, Arizona with a Reservoir Dogs-style shootout at the end, but it's definitely not horror by any stretch of the imagination.

The double-act of Franky B (Josh Fallon) and Dane (Devyan DuMon) has some amusing and well written moments, yet it's hard to tell if the intention is to be funny at the start. As far as their acting goes, Josh and Devyan are a likeable pair who seem comfortable in front of the camera, but they are still hammy and below YouTube quality all the way. Josh Fallon also plays a second part as Jeremy Jackson.

The plot is as derivative as they come with the computer disk (actually a DVD) being nothing more than a MacGuffin. There are a lot of breaking the fourth wall moments in the form of Franky B's frequent "time-outs" and a blatant "This is only an hour long movie, okay?" line. I'm not sure how original this is in indie films as Jim Hutton used to do it all the time in the Ellery Queen TV series, but I'd guess that the filmmakers had no knowledge of the 1970s or were even alive then.

The girls in Disk Jockey are all pretty hot. Courtney Malec, who plays Beth, can actually act a bit, but Morgan Beatty Wise is clearly more model material. Michelle Busk doesn't do too badly as the mental blonde named Sketch (because she's "sketchy"?) either. Let's face it, they aren't professional actresses.

As for Ashley (Kristin Busk), the girl with a DVD inside her, she's just sort of there for the most part. Kristin Busk isn't bad considering her age although I have no idea what her age actually is. I think Ashley is supposed to be sixteen, but she could be younger.

Disk Jockey isn't the worst film I've ever seen, and it's mercifully short, but it's more of a high school student's project than a real movie. The camerawork is okay, the pacing could be better, and it's all very cheap looking. You can even see the cameraman, Zachary Yoshioka (who I assume is also the director since there's no "director" listed in the credits), reflected in a mirror in the first scene.

The bottom line is that Disk Jockey isn't horror and has no reason to be in this multipack. I did enjoy it in a bizarre way, but not because it was any good.

Most Memorable Moment(s): Franky B's fight with the girls.

Originality: The time-outs.

Best Line(s): "This is only an hour long movie, okay?"
Worst Line(s): "I didn't go to medical school to return favors."

Best Effect(s): The bullet hole make-up.
Worst Effect(s): The gunshots themselves.

Goriness (out of 10): 1
Sexiness (out of 10): 2
Profanities (out of 10): 5

Hottest Actor/Actress: Morgan Beatty Wise who plays Julie.

Thinks you're the perfect guy... for anyone else.

Picture Quality: Slightly below average
Audio Quality: Average

Rating (out of 10): 2

Trailer: None
IMDb or Wiki: None

Final Thoughts: They didn't even sew her back up again!